Dating a guy younger than u
Successful couples come from all stories and backgrounds. That said, age gaps have been proven to cause some unique challenges and complications. Like, for example, reminiscing about pop culture phenomena from your childhood. You know, remember that song from that TV show everyone was watching in high school? Blank stare.
7 Harsh Truths About Dating Younger Guys
When I met my boyfriend Jesse, I was 28 and he was 24 — not too much of a dating age difference in the grand scheme of things, but to hear some of my friends at the time tell it, you'd think we were Harold and Maude — or at the very least, Ashton and Demi. In the early days of our relationship, I got a lot of a lot of exasperated eyerolls, "you go, girl"s, and questions about whether I was technically old enough to be a cougar.
I also had a lot of friends who couldn't believe how dumb I was — didn't I remember how difficult it was to get a guy to commit at age 24? Why would I want to go through that again? But the experience has made me think about how women are discouraged from dating younger men — especially women in their twenties. Although the idea of a "cougar " who dates much younger men has a certain cultural cachet, being a woman in your twenties who simply chooses a partner who's a bit younger is often viewed as weird, desperate, or deluded — basically, anything besides what it is, which is totally normal.
People have a much easier time, it seems, getting on board with the idea of a woman taking a younger partner for purely sexual reasons than they do with the idea of a woman in a serious relationship with a younger partner. So if you're thinking about getting together with someone younger , don't listen to anyone who uses words like "cougar," "cradle robber," or "Samantha Jones;" instead, consider the five points below. In your twenties, especially in the years immediately after college, an age difference of just a year or two can make you feel like you're a world apart from someone.
Which makes sense — in the course of 24 months, I transformed from a college senior who'd never lived on my own and subsisted primarily on bagels stolen from the school cafeteria to a financially independent adult who worked a serious job and subsisted primarily on bagels stolen from work. I felt like I was racking up new life milestones every day, and couldn't imagine relating to anyone younger than me — and so I became fixated on dating older guys, because I thought it was the only way I could find someone who would be mature enough to make me happy.
But this kind of thinking conflates practical responsibility with emotional maturity — which isn't really accurate. We might think that certain concrete markers of adulthood — a prestigious job; a working knowledge of personal finance; properly assembled Ikea furniture —signify a related degree of emotional maturity. And sometimes, they do; sometimes someone who is older really is more emotionally intelligent. But often, there is no correlation. Hell, we've even developed a terminology to describe people who look like adults on the outside, but are basically middle schoolers on the inside — that'd be that scourge of the dating world, the " man-child " or "woman-child.
In my own mid-twenties, I dated a year-old, expecting to find someone ready to get serious sheerly based on his age and professional accomplishments; instead, I found an immature trainwreck who made rude comments about my weight and cheated on me basically every time I was out of earshot. Lots of women who've dated around have similar stories that prove that there's no concrete relationship between being older and actually acting like an adult.
In our culture, dating an older partner is often seen as a status symbol for younger women — we're often told that older partners will be more financially and emotionally stable, which is why being courted by an older partner is often seen as a compliment, a confirmation that you, indeed, have your act together and are desirable. This is probably why heterosexual women's age preferences in partners tend to skew their own ages of higher while heterosexual men's tend to skew younger.
God knows that's what I felt, while dating the above-noted older dude — I felt like his desire for me marked me as more mature and interesting than my peers. To date someone younger is to consciously reject a lot of this. For this reason, being a woman with a younger partner is often viewed in a negative light. You're supposedly an immature doofus who can't attract partners your own age, or maybe a delusional narcissist who can't cope with aging I've heard both!
Again, all these ideas are based on stereotypes — primarily, that youth is one of the only valuable traits a woman possesses when dating, and that to take a pass on using it as a bargaining chip to find a more desirable mate is insane. Does that sound terrible? If so, good! We can fight this totally gross line of thinking by agreeing to view younger people that we have chemistry as real possible partners — and by not constantly "joking" about any woman we know who happens to have a younger partner.
But, of course, if calling yourself a "cougar" gets your rocks off, then more power to you, my friend. There's another myth out there that dating young people means that you'll never get serious — that dating a younger guy or girl means that you're signing on for a relationship purgatory full of half-assed plans, a lack of emotional commitment, and being introduced as "this girl I'm kinda hanging out with" at parties. Again, this is generalizing that conflates age with a specific set of romantic values — plenty of people of all ages aren't interested in serious relationships, and plenty of people of all ages are interested in serious relationships, too.
Ludwig isn't necessarily describing a younger guy; instead, she's describing a guy who isn't interested in a serious relationship, a kind of dude who comes in all ages. In my own anecdotal experience, I've found no correlation between age and interest in a serious relationship. One of my closest friends recently married a guy five years her junior, after years of dating commitmentphobic dudes her own age and older; and Jesse was more open and interested in pursuing something serious with me than anyone I'd ever dated, despite being an age when he was supposed to be more interested in "playing the field.
Jesse wasn't my first dip into the younger dude pool — we connected after I'd had a handful of casual things with guys four or five years younger than me. I'd just gotten out of a long-ish relationship with a guy who was fixated on achieving "appropriate life milestones " — marriage, kids, stable jobs — and the experience made me realize that I wasn't on the same page about that kind of thing as a lot of people my own age. At 28, I was only just beginning to explore my true desires for my career and life — which made me have a lot more in common with a recent college grad than someone who'd had almost a decade since graduation to figure out what they wanted.
Sometimes, certain experiences or personality quirks make us have more in common with people younger or older than us — and not giving those people a shot romantically because they're not the same exact age as you is nuts. The line of thinking that all younger guys are total scrubs dances around the fact that all older guys were once younger guys — and that younger guys will soon be older guys. Our personalities remain more consistent through the years, but the window dressing of maturity tends to change pretty darn quick — which is how, despite having the same age gap, my once "scandalously young" partner is now seen as pretty age appropriate for me.
Sure, if you date someone younger than you, you may get to help them figure out some basic life admin stuff for a while — but it won't be a pure "teacher-student"-type relationship, not just because younger people still have plenty to teach us, but also because people figure that stuff out relatively quickly. The window of time when I was helping Jesse learn about credit reports and negotiating a salary was brief, while he continues to teach me new things about love and commitment every day I know, barf.
To act like youth is an eternal state — that a person who is currently 23 and not totally sure about how to pick a good bottle of wine or operate their dishwasher, will exist in that state forever — is actively denying the facts of our own lives. We're all aging, and life is too damned short to not date someone who's younger than you just because society has psyched you out about it.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way , which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page. By Gabrielle Moss.
The problems that arise when dating someone much younger than you will depend on exactly what the age difference is and all the life. People who have been in relationships with someone who was more than a few years older or younger than they are will probably tell you that.
In early December , my boyfriend and I had our first date. Also note that this was not because I had some notion that we would end up together long-term, but rather because I was embarrassed to be seen in public with him because of our age difference. I'm now 40, and he's 27 going on
You just have to be open to it. Jennifer Lopez regularly dates guys half her age.
If you're ready to accept that age is just a number, then your pool of eligible bachelors just got a hell of a lot bigger—and might include some much younger dudes. Plus, all the cool kids are dating younger these days.
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He has more energy — and his influence might make you healthier and more productive. Maybe you want to sleep in until 2 p. He's less cynical. Unless he's had an especially soul-crushing unpaid internship, he's probably got some beautiful illusions about his promising place in the workforce. And we both know you can use some positivity in your life.
7 things that could happen when you're dating someone younger than you
People who have been in relationships with someone who was more than a few years older or younger than they are will probably tell you that, while age is technically just a number, sometimes it says a lot about someone and their life circumstances. And while relationships with age gaps can and certainly do succeed it's important to keep your eyes peeled for red flags when dating someone younger during the early stages of seeing this person. At this point, it should go without saying that, while someone's age may imply something about their level of maturity, at the end of the day, maturity and age can be at shocking odds with one another. As someone who has been dating people who were over 30 since the beginning of my 20s, I can confidently say that I have come in contact with countless grown men with the same maturity level as my year-old nephew. So age shouldn't necessarily be a deciding factor unless you find that age-related weirdness keeps becoming a "thing. However, you should still keep an eye out some things that signal age might be more than just a number. Elite Daily spoke with certified dating coach Damona Hoffman to get some insight into the signs that the person you're dating might not be the best fit. If your younger bae seems to be fishing when it comes to who you know, and job details that make you feel even the slightest bit sketchy, this could be a sign that they are hoping your relationship might give them a leg-up. If they can't seem to get enough kiss, kiss, bang, bang, to the point where you're starting to wonder if you can keep up with their sexual appetite long-term, then you could be in for some trouble down the line if you don't communicate. But of course, sex isn't everything.
When it comes to the subject of love we always hope that there are no real significant barriers to its success.
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3 Relationship Problems You Only Deal With When Dating Younger Men
Multiple studies suggest the key to a long and prosperous life is not eating beets and drinking sad green juices all the time, but rather something much more enjoyable -- dating younger women. It's for your health, after all. Hold onto your dicks, my dudes. One of the woes younger women tend to deal with when it comes to dating are men playing games with them. You also need romance and intellectual passion to keep the spark alive. Depending on your age I'm looking for a certain level of maturity, someone I can learn from, someone looking to have a long-term relationship, and someone that knows who he is. Don't try to pressure me into it marriage, children, etc. We like going out and doing things, so you better be ready to get that ass moving! We're looking for a life partner, not a father figure," year old Ahna says, echoing every other independent woman out there. When my boyfriend came back I told him what happened.
'I Dated A Much-Younger Man—Here’s What It Was Like’
The phenomenon of men dating younger women is depicted everywhere in pop culture. Hollywood movies frequently cast much older male actors to star alongside young actresses, and the same actors are often snapped by paparazzi dating much younger women in real life. Male singers have long referenced younger women in songs with epithets like "baby" and "little girl" and now it's increasingly common for women to refer to their sexual partners as "daddy". The idea that it's normal and natural for men to date women five, 10, 15 or even 20 years younger than them is pretty firmly culturally ingrained at this point. However, it's worth taking a second look at whether this phenomenon should continue to be taken for granted. There are certain difficulties that accompany every relationship with a large age gap, but in the case of men dating younger women, there's also a tricky power dynamic that needs to be considered.
5 unexpected benefits of dating a younger partner
So I was watching a rerun of Friends the other day I admit it, I still love that show. Everyone was shocked at the unusual pairing, and even more so at their very amorous behavior. But in the end, the couple prevailed. Recently, I read a blog where a separated, lates woman stated that she wanted advice on how to land a much younger man — say, late 20s or early 30s. If you want to get people into a heated discussion, forget politics or religion — bring up an older woman wanting to date a man half her age.
5 Reasons Women Shouldn't Be Afraid Of Dating Younger Men
Gibson, who is 61, is 35 years older than his partner Rosalind Ross, who is Many men and women are seemingly rejecting those cougar and sugar-daddy stereotypes, as some experts are seeing that a substantial portion of middle-age and older singles are willing to choose partners who are younger than themselves. Data seem to support that idea: A AARP survey of about 3, single men and women ages 40 to 69 found about 66 percent of men want to date younger women and 34 percent of women want to date younger men. Celebrities like actor and director Mel Gibson, whose partner Rosalind Ross is 35 years his junior, and director Sam Taylor-Johnson, whose husband, actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson, is 24 years younger than her, apparently agree with that notion.
Eight benefits of dating a younger man
Nine women dish on what they've learned from playing cougar. As the saying goes, "You're only as old as the man you're feeling. Or should we take a lesson from Demi and avoid robbing cradles? We asked 10 women to tell us what they learned from dating a younger guy. Read on to see what they had to say! In my opinion, it never turned out well because they were intimidated by where I was in life in comparison
I have secretly spending time with a man friend who is 48 and I'm I have only had bad relationships with men closer to my age. The whole thing between us just kind of happened. He is exactly what I want in a man. He is mature and supports my ideas gives motivation he is amazing!Is It A Bad Idea To Date A Younger Man?