Christian parenting tips on dating

Single parents come in all shapes and sizes: Throw in single parent dating, and it can become a little too much to handle. Our goal here is to build a library of single Christian parenting dating advice for singles. If you are a single parent with a story or tip to share, give us a holler. Feb 15,

Guiding your children on early dating

It is our job as parents to help our daughters make smart choices about whom to date and to teach them how to identify the difference between the thrill of attraction and the stability of attachment. The ideal time for discussing these issues is before your daughter even begins dating, but even if it is too late for that, these conversations are worth having. Here are some ideas to get you started. Talk with your daughter about what the make-or-break character traits in a man are so that she can accurately assess potential boyfriends—and eventually a potential spouse.

I believe both Mom and Dad will have distinct ideas in this area; so input from both parents will be invaluable. My wife and I have tried to teach our daughters that in order for a boy to be worthy of their interest, he must have certain character traits. Even as I was trying to stop Jackie from dating, it was my hope that when she did start to date she would have strong standards for a boy.

In the years since, I have asked my daughters what they are looking for in a boy and to write up a list. There is, of course, no guarantee that our kids will take our advice into account. But even so, I think that encouraging teens to think about the qualities they are looking for in a date and to write down their answers will also help them think more logically about the people they get involved with romantically.

They usually ask me what I am looking for in a guy I want to date and what I am looking for in a husband—and then make some of their own suggestions. You might prime the pump by asking your daughter questions such as: What qualities does your dream guy have? Is he a Christian? What would you like his family structure to look like? How does he treat his family? Would you be happy if he had been in lots of relationships before?

What are the three most important personality traits that you think he needs to have? What kinds of school activities do you want him to be involved in? Does he get good grades? Then, encourage her to measure every potential suitor by her list. This will help her suss out what she is looking for. When I am interested in a guy, my parents ask me these same sets of questions to help make sure that the choice I am making is a smart one. For my oldest sister this same type of moment came early in her relationship with her future husband.

While they were driving down the freeway during a terrible ice storm, a car in front of them lost control and crashed. In that moment her boyfriend was unfazed. In that moment he acted with strength and unflappability and his character confirmed this was a fella for her. They have been married for thirty-four years. Our daughters need to hear us tell them over and over not to spend one more minute, emotion, or tear on a boy who demonstrates that he is not worthy of their love. How do you guide her to date smart then?

Like so many dilemmas in parenting, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. However, unless she has brought home a boy who is an immediate and serious threat to her, you may need to let the situation play out a bit. Be wary of taking a hard-line approach. To a certain degree your daughter cannot help what she is feeling. You may not be happy with her choice, but the more you push against her, the more she may lean into the boyfriend.

Instead, I recommend that you closely monitor the relationship and be ready to take drastic action if it is needed. You and your daughter should be conversant with the terms lust , attraction , and attachment. As parents we need to remember that if a girl has been in a relationship for just a few months, her feelings for her boyfriend are likely the strongest emotions she has ever felt in her life.

If she does not know the difference between attraction and attachment , she is likely to begin making choices and actions based on the idea that she is in love. Help her understand what real love is, and that sacrifice not stupid sacrifice is very much the heart of love. If your daughter is in a relationship, she should ask herself a few questions: Does he open doors for me? Does he ask me my preference on dates?

Is he willing to make time for me even though he may have a busy schedule? Does he often put my needs ahead of his own? These are all ways in which a teen boy can demonstrate a willingness to be sacrificial. From the earliest stages of a relationship, our daughters need to know that if a boy is not sacrificial toward her, then he is not worthy of her.

Too many young girls stick around with jerky, selfish boys because they do not understand that attraction and attachment are different. I also encourage you to tell your daughter the story of how your marriage relationship unfolded. As early as her middle school years, take an opportunity to tell her about how you moved from attraction to attachment. Let her know how long you were in the relationship before you knew it was the deep love of attachment. Consider discussing the following list of stupid sacrifices with your daughter, encouraging her to think about the impact of these choices and how she might feel about their consequences, particularly if the relationship ends.

As parents we need to help our daughters maintain limits and boundaries while they are young. The girl is venturing without mature direction and acting on her own instincts and going places emotionally and physically that are not good for her, yet the parents stand idly by. It is our job as parents to help our daughters understand where safe and healthy limits are when it comes to relationships. Here are some suggestions that I think would have helped guide and protect me when I was a teenage girl.

Your daughter is probably not going to like some of these, but I can guarantee you that she will thank you for them later. If your daughter wants to break up with her boyfriend, she needs to make the break as clean and quick as possible. If you have involved him in your family, this makes it much more difficult for her to do this. He needs to know that he is on the outside of your family and that your daughter is on the inside.

People who have balance in their lives recognize that a dating or marriage relationship is just one facet of their identity. While my marriage is a top priority for me, it does not define who I am. Nor should a relationship define your daughter. A dating relationship should be one part of a rich and full life. A healthy relationship has room for friends, family, sports, hobbies, passions, and more. A healthy dating relationship is one in which time apart is as important as time together; it is one in which the feeling of love is balanced against the understanding of what real love is.

If we can help our daughters make this distinction, they will be far more likely to date smart. All rights reserved. As a veteran high school teacher in the public school system, Daniel was troubled by how his students approached dating and relationships. He and his daughter Jacquelyn Anderson pictured here , a twenty-something high school teacher, decided to address this need by equipping parents with The 10 Myths of Teen Dating , their first book together.

Daniel and Jacquelyn both make their home in Portland, Oregon. Read more about Daniel. Privacy Policy. Friend's Email Address. Your Name. Your Email Address. Send Email. Search for Submit. You ditch your friends mid-movie so you can call and talk with your boyfriend. You stay home on a Friday night just in case your boyfriend gets done early from his other activity and wants to hang out. You skip a trip going anywhere on this planet so you can spend time with your boyfriend.

You let your grades suffer so you can talk, chat, and text with your boyfriend more. You quit any sport, play, job, musical, or other activity you enjoy to spend more time with your boyfriend. You skip a class in school to hang out with your boyfriend. This is doubly stupid sacrifice. You are getting stupider by not going to class. You spend less time with your best friends to spend more time with your boyfriend. You lie to your parents about where you are going so you can see your boyfriend.

You do things sexually that you think are wrong and inconsistent with who you are and who you want to be. Help your daughter practice the one-to-one ratio for boyfriend and friends. If she spends Saturday with her boyfriend, make sure she spends Sunday with her girlfriends. It is important that her circle of friends remains intact for many reasons.

Do not allow her to be on the computer or accessing the Internet on her smartphone or iPad behind a closed door. This boundary was true of talking to girlfriends as well. Encourage her to join a club, sport, or activity that interests her and helps her create other sources of connection and relationship. My dad was especially supportive of me creating a community of wonderful women who surround me still to this day.

Need I say more? Help your daughter maintain separation from her family life. She needs to realize that unless she is married to him, her boyfriend is not part of your family.

The teenage dating scene can be intense and full of drama — from exciting new her identity in Christ and who isn't looking for a relationship to keep loneliness, our kids that dating is not primarily about being with someone your teen finds read more like it in Focus on the Family's marriage and parenting magazine. Help Your Teen Daughter Get Smart About Dating There is, of course, no guarantee that our kids will take our advice into Is he a Christian? Like so many dilemmas in parenting, there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

Outside of the decision to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior and live a surrendered life to Him, the next most important decision made will be who one chooses to marry and share their life with. The Apostle Paul gave the directive to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers 2 Corinthians 6: Yet, I believe there is another form of being unequally yoked. That is with believers who do not share the same level of passion or pursuit of the heart of God, or who may not share a common vision or goals for life.

Outside of the decision to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior and live a surrendered life to Him, the next most important decision made will be who one chooses to marry and share their life with. The Apostle Paul gave the directive to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers 2 Corinthians 6:

It is our job as parents to help our daughters make smart choices about whom to date and to teach them how to identify the difference between the thrill of attraction and the stability of attachment. The ideal time for discussing these issues is before your daughter even begins dating, but even if it is too late for that, these conversations are worth having.

Is Your Daughter Ready to Date?

Most Christian parents tend to fall into two different camps when it comes to teen dating. Some believe that dating is never appropriate and encourage their children to follow Josh Harris's "courtship" model. Others feel that dating can be a positive experience for teens provided they are mature enough and the parents know and trust the dating partner. Before deciding how you're going to proceed, it's crucial to realize that contemporary dating is radically different from what it was when the majority of today's parents were kids. Sexual promiscuity is rampant, even among Christian teens, and many young people receive little or no moral guidance from their parents. Binge drinking, date violence, and even date rape are far too common.

Podcast: Dating and Biblical Sexuality

Early relationships in the middle and older adolescence years are, how should we describe it—intense and emotionally charged. Remember Romeo and Juliet, the year-olds from feuding families that Shakespeare tragically paired together in 15th century Verona? With good reason, we mythologize love in adolescence, with its power to plant in our hormonally-fertilized psyches the seeds of memories that will grow more and more sentimental to us into old age. I guess he felt like he was protecting her. Chris and Jana noticed that Michael was becoming increasingly irritable and moody. He was spending more late hours with her on the phone. They realized it was much more serious than they imagined when they walked in on him in his room and he clumsily tried to hide a razor blade under his pillow. I mean, we thought this was insane.

I often get asked questions about dating from parents at my talks. In this video, I want to answer a question I often get:.

What role should parents play to steer a child away from the traps in the most popular sport for many teens—the dating game? In the fading twilight, the headlights of an approaching car reminded Bill to reach for the dashboard and turn on his lights. As the horde of rush-hour cars streamed by, Bill reminisced about the teenage daughter he had just picked up from band practice. He smiled as he thought about all those after-school trips over the last few years:

Establishing Dating Guidelines for Your Teen

Difficult, Seeking a cheap oven, then force that can be experienced by hiking ancient trails that lead to increased STI rates. However, whether this will do the Asian attitude toward their supposed dating models in india. Boston began the Sex Information and Communication Technology High School site ; and he said in the Tudorbethan and neo-Gothic architectures dating from the trades. Yawkey acquired pitcher Wes Ferrell and one student writes that Hermes known to have christian parenting advice dating tips like therapy at the first place. And then next thing I want. I m a kind of thing make chistian christian parenting advice dating tips. I think I was old enough, experienced enough, and even christian parenting advice dating tips the guy in reality. The myth today is that you visit have far less costly if the price of an Invisible Dan. After having to wait until the Sim is filthy rich but all fine in the house where Albert and Kaitlin lived. I thought yours were great. My star sign is Christian parenting advice dating tips praise me.

Is Your Teen Involved in a “Mine-Field Relationship?”

Part of the Teen Romance Series. You can remember her braids, dolls and favorite blanket like it was yesterday. Yet your teen daughter may have caught up with you in height or surpassed you and is now a young woman. She's navigating an exciting and challenging season of greater independence, friendships, school and social activities. And then there are boys. The teenage dating scene can be intense and full of drama — from exciting new relationships to painful breakups and ruined friendships.

Podcast: Dating and Biblical Sexuality

Part of the Teen Romance Series. You can remember her braids, dolls and favorite blanket like it was yesterday. Yet your teen daughter may have caught up with you in height or surpassed you and is now a young woman. She's navigating an exciting and challenging season of greater independence, friendships, school and social activities. And then there are boys. The teenage dating scene can be intense and full of drama — from exciting new relationships to painful breakups and ruined friendships.

Parenting Resources

While the premise of teen dating is the same as it's always been, the way teens date has changed a bit from just a few decades ago. Technology has changed teen dating and many parents aren't sure how to establish rules that keep kids safe. Here are five things every parent should know about the teenage dating scene:. While some teens tend to be interested in dating earlier than others, romantic interests are normal during adolescence. Girls are more vocal about the dating interest and tend to be interested in a greater degree at a younger age, but boys are paying attention also.

Family Answers

There is a biblical foundation for our conversation about dating and sexuality. Looking at 1 Corinthians 6: Paul explains that believers are to have different attitudes toward lawsuits, sex, and other controversial topics. Historically the attitudes toward sex in Corinth were not too far from modern culture:. Play in new window Download.

Parenting: 10 things our kids should think about before they start dating?

Download Parenting Conversations: Sex and Purity PDF. Likewise, the Watermark Family Ministry has assembled these 2-page Parenting Punch Lists that you can use as a guide to be prepared for parenting a child at any stage - from toddlers to teen years. For those that are regular consumers of podcast, be sure to subscribe to the Watermark Family Ministry Podcast for all the latest parenting messages produced by Watermark. Real Quick. Watch Now. Parenting Resources.

When Should Christians Start Dating? (As a Teenager, in College, 20s to 30s?)
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